User blog:Dorkpool/BIONICLE Riffs: Dreams of Destruction (Part 1)

I have this...feature, one might call it, on the Creepypasta Wiki called "Creepypasta Riffs", where I take bad (for the most part) Creepypasta stories, and make jokes throughout them. While doing this, a thought occurred to me: why not do these for the BIONICLE story serials, and post it on BZPower? Well, BZPower wouldn't let me copy the Riff from Word. However, I know that Wiki blog posts do, which is why I'm doing this here.

Anyway, here, unlike the Creepypasta Riffs, what I'm reviewing is not bad. Also, my comments will be bolded, since italics are used in the serials. And I plan to do at least a chapter a day of a certain serial Saturday and Sunday, with my thoughts on the whole thing in a separate post. Alright, now that we've got all of that out of the way, let's Riff this!

Chapter 1 Rescue! The Ta-Matoran named Sarda had no doubt he was living his last moments. He and his friends had been captured by Pridak leader of the Barraki, and imprisoned in a sea cave. “Pridak was rude like that.” When Pridak grew angry at their refusal to give him information, he grabbed Sarda and hurled him out of the cave, right into the middle of a school of hungry Take sharks. “Go long!” Pridak yelled as he threw the Matoran.

Sarda had no doubt what was going to happen next. “A dance number.” He wouldn’t be able to hold off a horde of sharks for more than a couple of moments. He hoped the end would at least be quick. No, the end would take a while, since the sharks were busy watching “Dancing With The Sharks”.

Something darted toward him – but it wasn’t a Takea shark. “Pridak had decided a Matoran could be a good dartboard.” It was a masked figure on a mechanical Sea Sled, wielding a sword. In a flash, the newcomer had slammed into the center of the school, scattering the sharks. Before they could reform, a waterspout pulled them in and whirled them far from the site.

Stunned, Sarda watched his rescuer approach. Was there something familiar about him? “Was it his fancy strut?” Sarda wasn’t sure. But it certainly seemed like the stranger knew the Matoran. Yeah, Sarda owed the guy some widgets back on Voya Nui.

“Sarda?” he said. “Is it really you?”

'''“No, I’m Idris. Sarda left a while ago.”'''

“Of course it’s me,” Sarda replied. “And right now, I have friends back in that cave who need rescuing. If you’re any good with that sword, I could use your help.” As it turns out, the newcomer was terrible with the sword, and everyone in the cave died.

The newcomer looked at the cave mouth, then in the distance, where the sharks were already massing for an attack. Then he turned back to Sarda. “Somebody once told me THAT YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND WHO LOOKED LIKE A GIRLFRIEND THAT I HAD IN FEBRUARY OF LAST YEAR that knowledge is a sharper weapon than a sword. Before I charge into a fight, I could use a little more of that.” “Well, I know absolutely nothing, so I can’t help in the least.”

Something about the stranger’s words sparked a memory in Sarda. '''“A memory involving a bucket, two light stones, and a Gukko. It was a rather disturbing memory.”''' He peered closely at the unexpected arrival. The figure’s appearance was still unfamiliar, but the words, the voice –

“Toa Lesovikk?” asked Sarda, almost afraid to hope he was right about the newcomer’s identity. “But… it can’t be… how could you be here? “I thought I had you killed a while ago.”"

The Toa flashed a sad smile. “Yes… I am Lesovikk, though no one has called me Toa in a very long time. “They do call me Bob though.” As for how I got here… it’s a long story, my friend.” '''Not really. It’s told later in the story in a few sentences.'''

Well, that was my Riff of Dreams of Destruction Chapter 1. What do you kolhii heads think? Was it good? Bad? Do you wish I would be eaten by Takea sharks? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.